Relaxed
Birthing
Relaxation is probably a state of being that we can say will definitely encourage the birth process and help the journey of the baby. But we are not talking about relaxation as a state of collapse but rather an active decision to let go of all that gets in the way of that state moment by moment, breath by breath. It also helps to know yourself well in this journey, what gets in the way of your nervous system being relaxed, what takes you on a whirlwind of mind activity that gets in the way of letting the body physiology do its thing! I have a colleague who always reminded me that we “birth how we live” so really knowing and noticing quite how we live may be more useful than we imagined! We are talking about being able to access choice (that is to say choosing to relax mind and body) even when we may be feeling challenged to our core. That means being aware enough to see and know when we are blocking that process, and where blind spots are are.
I may also add that when we are sitting in unconsciousness there is a heaviness that can come into the body, as fear has a density that makes letting go harder. So, in birthing (any kind of birthing!) a lightness of being is going to help. How do we get to a place when we really know how to “lighten up”? I would like to suggest that as we bring mindfulness to ourselves, our button-pressing areas, then we have the choice to go “ah, I see what I am doing here...an old pattern perhaps, and maybe not useful here...so I can give it space, feel it and let it go, or maybe ask for some help in what I perceive is a stuck place...” and so on. Relaxed Birth and Parenting uses the 7 words system as a means of exploration to highlight our more sticky places, and we all have them. The idea is not to rid ourselves of these more reactive places but bring awareness so we can bring choice. If we don’t know those places within (and they can be pretty good at hiding) then they are running unconsciously, but having potentially big effect. The 7 Words can bring awareness to our understanding of ourselves, enabling us to reflect on where we need to liberate more room for choice, rather than reaction. The nervous system responds well to this kind and mindful attention.
This also allows the baby the possibility of having help at birth in the way of feeling part of a team of co-operative people, who are not having their own stuff so triggered by the intensity of labour that they can’t take on what the baby is experiencing. This enables us not to rescue the baby from the babys journey but rather validate and be open and curious to what the baby may be experiencing. The baby will feel the support at a soul level at this level of awareness and may feel less alone and more able to stay in relationship. Self-awareness also enables the mother and or father to takes responsibility for their stuff and say “ok baby, this bit is my stuff, don’t let it worry you, I will take care of it”. Lucky a baby who is supported by such clarity of being, so that baby can get on and do what it needs to do rather than take on parents un-owned stuff.
We are really talking about clear and enormous space, which is essential in a process (birth) that can be so compressive for woman and child. So you the 7 words system to really open out the areas that are small and less evolved and enjoy the freedom that comes from that process. It is light and loving work, and self-compassion the key. At quest I welcome anyone to join in this process whether you are a pregnant women or dad, someone just interested in birth or a birth worker. My intention is that you leave the workshop feeling bigger as some part of you that you may have kept hidden even from yourself will be brought to light. This is not going to be done in an exposing or scary way!
Relaxation is probably a state of being that we can say will definitely encourage the birth process and help the journey of the baby. But we are not talking about relaxation as a state of collapse but rather an active decision to let go of all that gets in the way of that state moment by moment, breath by breath. It also helps to know yourself well in this journey, what gets in the way of your nervous system being relaxed, what takes you on a whirlwind of mind activity that gets in the way of letting the body physiology do its thing! I have a colleague who always reminded me that we “birth how we live” so really knowing and noticing quite how we live may be more useful than we imagined! We are talking about being able to access choice (that is to say choosing to relax mind and body) even when we may be feeling challenged to our core. That means being aware enough to see and know when we are blocking that process, and where blind spots are are.
I may also add that when we are sitting in unconsciousness there is a heaviness that can come into the body, as fear has a density that makes letting go harder. So, in birthing (any kind of birthing!) a lightness of being is going to help. How do we get to a place when we really know how to “lighten up”? I would like to suggest that as we bring mindfulness to ourselves, our button-pressing areas, then we have the choice to go “ah, I see what I am doing here...an old pattern perhaps, and maybe not useful here...so I can give it space, feel it and let it go, or maybe ask for some help in what I perceive is a stuck place...” and so on. Relaxed Birth and Parenting uses the 7 words system as a means of exploration to highlight our more sticky places, and we all have them. The idea is not to rid ourselves of these more reactive places but bring awareness so we can bring choice. If we don’t know those places within (and they can be pretty good at hiding) then they are running unconsciously, but having potentially big effect. The 7 Words can bring awareness to our understanding of ourselves, enabling us to reflect on where we need to liberate more room for choice, rather than reaction. The nervous system responds well to this kind and mindful attention.
This also allows the baby the possibility of having help at birth in the way of feeling part of a team of co-operative people, who are not having their own stuff so triggered by the intensity of labour that they can’t take on what the baby is experiencing. This enables us not to rescue the baby from the babys journey but rather validate and be open and curious to what the baby may be experiencing. The baby will feel the support at a soul level at this level of awareness and may feel less alone and more able to stay in relationship. Self-awareness also enables the mother and or father to takes responsibility for their stuff and say “ok baby, this bit is my stuff, don’t let it worry you, I will take care of it”. Lucky a baby who is supported by such clarity of being, so that baby can get on and do what it needs to do rather than take on parents un-owned stuff.
We are really talking about clear and enormous space, which is essential in a process (birth) that can be so compressive for woman and child. So you the 7 words system to really open out the areas that are small and less evolved and enjoy the freedom that comes from that process. It is light and loving work, and self-compassion the key. At quest I welcome anyone to join in this process whether you are a pregnant women or dad, someone just interested in birth or a birth worker. My intention is that you leave the workshop feeling bigger as some part of you that you may have kept hidden even from yourself will be brought to light. This is not going to be done in an exposing or scary way!